Maybe it was your Christmas last year and this year the kids are with your ex. Maybe the kids will wake up with you and then go with their dad until boxing day. Whatever your specific arrangements coping with agreed contact over Christmas can be difficult. You are not alone. Take comfort in knowing that there are other mothers across the globe facing the same situation as you.
But it’s not all bad! Christmas without the kids doesn’t have to be a depressing day of despair. Consider these 3 simple steps to coping with the Christmas contact and enjoy your festive season, with a difference.
Step 1: Change your mindset and control your mood
Don’t let depression creep in. There’s no need to feel sorry for yourself. Whatever your Christmas contact arrangement, shift the focus from the days you don’t have the kids to the days that you do. If you’re not having them on the day, what about Christmas Eve? The excitement and anticipation before Christmas day is often more magical than the day itself. What about Boxing day? It’s always been an extension of the big event. Traditionally there are twelve days of Christmas for you to choose from. There are no rules to say turkey and presents are only reserved for Christmas Day. Forge your own unique festive season. The only thing that’s important is enjoying the time you do spend with the kids.
Step 2: Accept your gift from Santa
I don’t think anyone can properly prepare you for motherhood. No-one can explain the love you have, or the tiredness, or just how hard it can be at times. Every mum deserves a break. Think of the time that your children are away from you as your little gift from Santa. Enjoy the time. Do all the things that you don’t get time to do. Sleep in late, have a long & luxurious bath, manicures & pedicures, dye your hair, pluck your eyebrows, remove other hair. Reward yourself for all the hard work you’ve put in throughout the year. You deserve it!
Step 3: Be Selfish!
The time that you don’t have your children is YOUR time to do with exactly as YOU like. Don’t feel obligated to make other people happy, make yourself happy instead. It can be comforting to be surrounded by your friends and family. The people who love you will always want to bring a smile to your face. Glam up and enjoy someone else doing all the hard work. But don’t feel pressured! If you really can’t shake your mood and don’t want to inflict your misery on others, then don’t. Stay at home in your pj’s and binge on a good box-set. Drink wine. Cry. There are plenty of take-away’s open on Christmas day, order one. But don’t let it linger. Wallow in your self-pity and move on. The kids are coming home and Christmas can really begin!
And remember, it’s never too early to start planning for next year. If the kids are with your ex this Christmas, then they will be with you for the next!
Merry Christmas!
Amazing things can happen when women support each other. Empower another mother by leaving a comment to let us know how you’ll be spending/spent Christmas.
#mothers4justice2 – because there’s power in unity.
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