3 Things to Remember when dealing with your ex’s Solicitor

I used to think that my ex’s solicitor was a heartless cow. Her constant letters annoyed and upset me because I didn’t feel qualified to produce a proper response.

To me, solicitors hold that air of authority because they know the law and understand how to use it. I felt powerless to her and her letters because I didn’t know the law.

Today, with the help of beautiful hindsight, I know that she was just doing her job. I also know that truth is more important than an in-depth knowledge of the law. If my ex ever takes me back to court and I have to deal with another solicitor, I know I’ll be ready. I’ve done it before and as long you remember these 3 things, you can do it too.

  1. Your ex’s solicitor is not the enemy. They work for your ex but they are not the enemy. Don’t give them ammunition to use against you by losing your temper. All solicitors have a code of practice that they must adhere to so, treat them with respect and expect it in return.
  2. Your ex’s solicitor is not your friendHowever polite and understanding they seem, they work for your ex. It is your ex’s best interests that they are concerned with because he is paying for their service, not you. Anything that you say to them, whether by letter or phone can be used against you.
  3. You are not a solicitor. It’s usual practice for solicitors to negotiate with each other outside of court to reach an agreement. That is the purpose of all the letters and phone calls you receive before your hearing. If you feel able to negotiate with your ex’s solicitor then it can be an effective way to compromise. What you agree with the solicitor can be set in stone by the magistrates at the hearing. However, you are not a solicitor so don’t try to play legal games. A solicitor knows exactly how to use the law to their advantage—stick to your truth because it’s all you need.

When I finally got to see my ex’s solicitor face-to-face, she was nothing like the heinous ice-queen that I imagined her to be. I got the feeling that I was nothing like the woman she thought I was either. Your ex’s solicitor only knows what your ex tells them. The rest of the picture is up to you to paint.

If you’ve found this article helpful, leave a comment and let me know. You don’t have to divulge your personal situation, just say hi to let me know that you’re there.

Amazing things can happen when women support and encourage each other. #mothers4justice2

 

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Writer, mother and advocate of strong women.
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